ego

 when zoomed out and seen in the long term point of view, the entire human life is a needless drama. We are no different from other species of botany and zoology; what differentiated is the stemming of an ego (identity for oneself?) and the consequential feeding of that beast as it inflates and the slow deflation that happens over the later decades.

Now that humans have formulated this model, one is to nevertheless subscribe and follow that model despite knowing it's drama, because survival and thriving on earth needs the support and reliance on the community.

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The drama arises from symbolic cognition: language, memory, anticipation, narrative.

Arthur Schopenhauer — life as will-driven striving with no final satisfaction

Albert Camus — the absurdity of seeking meaning in an indifferent universe

Human life has no external necessity, but strong internal momentum

The system(civilization) survives because it hijacks the reward circuitry, not because it coerces.

That’s why rebellion feels lonely, not dangerous.


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opting out - for freedom of time and energy, is one thing. But whether it can replace, substitute or exceed the satisfactory utilization of that time and energy is another. Now the onus is on the individual himself to devise and execute a path that requires discipline and thoroughness, antivirus installed to guard against external/internal disruptions to it and persist in it without accumulating negative energy that tend to make one cope with (cheap/unsustainable) dopamine/endorphin sources. 


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Stopped reacting to happening in the external. Stopped comparing myself with others to feel good about myself. Ensuring that there is a grounding and a feel of humility at all times. All set for the last two decades of active life? 40-60 years? The letting go of the ego phase.


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Chasing marks(school). Chasing the attention of girls. Chasing career. Chasing wealth. Chasing a woman to marry. Building more wealth, in the name of an empire.

decades pass.

And then one gets old. Years just pass by just like that. There's memories. Good, bad, ugly. Happy, sad, apathy.

Lifetime, a spent force. 

 

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Boredom is not a bug.
It is the pressure gradient that keeps discipline alive.

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