traits for a relationship

The subtle mocking plus concerned humor. I desired it in the women I pursued, all I got was low effort care and 'for the sake of it' returns.

Sexual desire when the lower head governed the self.

Romanticism that led the chase by being the fuel. 

Family kids and social acceptance as a meaning to life, the milestones of the unexamined era of mine.

When all these were the dominant factors, a woman who cares for the namesake is enough. Platitudes would do. But now things changed.

The only criterion for a partner is "what do I get for what I give as attention, resources(time being the prominent as always!). Usual unstated but tacitly understandable dynamic is exchange of sexual favours. But I have stopped valuing it as a commodity. 

What I didn't get was valued too much and then l devalued it (the same as a bpd woman, it's the high valuation and the idealization that led to the disappointment and devaluation later) and got to chase pursue and enjoy much more finer things in life, like intellectualism and conversations as a company. 

So if I can meet someone who has copied with the same patterns as mine when she faced relationship troubles or in similar state of mind.. it will work. Else better off alone than be in a state of loneliness when still in a relationship.