what from here?

 Or, the ending scene from the movie Interstellar. Where we are going? The BGM aligning with the theme. After much adventures and substantial time left to explore, and whatever was built or preserved till now doesn't seem of value or worth the effort in sustaining/fighting for and have to re-start again from scratch. 

The exhaustion in Brand's face in acknowledging the loneliness in the journey and the resolution to persist forward, nevertheless. 

One can't know the future with certainty. Can spend time and mental resources to decipher, guess or simulate; but there's two perils in it. One, if it works right, then the novelty of it is gone. Second, if it didn't, then it would mean much anguish and re-working of the strategies, a constant cognitive load. 

Cooper's abandoning of the crowd and stealing a flight to set into exploration again aligns with my negation of the desire to remarry and embrace the path where a woman's companionship, provider role and the meaning that comes from doing so. To wander means, opening the room for the second peril as mentioned above. But then, isn't that the way to keep the brain active? Being alive? 

I have combined abstract thinking with real world experiences (of mine and other men) to see through the journey of a married man who tries to balance between the roles he embraced and the breathing window to rejuvenate.

Someone like me, who fills their table with responsibilities would mean too much tasks to focus on: that's an alternative ending of Interstellar where the fatigue is from knowing that the rest of the decades are to go like a 3 phase motor where it is supposed to do what is expected of it and fuel and rest are the inputs. Ie, it all turns into an equation, predictable, boring and repetitive. Build wealth, display it, compete, cheer at the appreciation and envy, rinse repeat. The coping mechanisms change with age, body slows and there's a slow approach of death and that's masked with 'there's family for me!' coping.

The urgency of time. The witnessing of the dead body of the father, who in societal terms and benchmarks has been a good husband, father and such. A path where he followed what he is supposed to do: the motor analogy. If I choose that path, then it's the same theme but with updated storyline. It's like a game where you enter out of curiosity and then you come out worn and wrinkled, decades flying past without even knowing it. That it is societally accepted as a gold standard is the substrate for acceptance. But in that moment when one is breathing his last, nothing really mattered. Everything that was cherished and deemed invaluable and worthy, turned irrelevant. I witnessed that in the ICU after the bike accident and the TBI events. 

Tata Safari's ad from the 1990s.. Reclaim your life. No, not the 'travel, eat, experience' coping to avoid the reality that time slips away when busy following the script. But the curious mind's 'what can be done with this brief period of existence, called human life on earth'. 

When time is brief and one is coming to terms with it; the first task at hand is to economize. One is to rule out repetition experiences. Validation seeking and pursuing external objects: be it materialist, ideological or even companionship of a woman. To be addicted to these pursuits and whiling away time in wanting the same neural rewards again and again. And then the exploration. Seeking newer experiences. This as a template to follow. 

There's regrets in either (or any) way. To live the terminal years with those that I can live with. 

Seeing, pattern matching to abstracts, sparks if it aligns, the transformation of a meaningful life may or may not happen while doing so. You see I am trying to formulate the methods and guidelines so that an outcome may have a better probability. To fixate on it and keep tracking would mean the same as '2 kids and wife as meaning to life'. Nope, the subtlety is missed in that path. The balancing between 'do what you are doing so thoroughly, it will take you somewhere meaningful' and aligning the current paths to abstracted meanings. The bottom up and top down approach in tandem. The same as Interstellar docking scene.