Weltschmerz and direction.

The stories to sell you the product. Either of nature derived (brain chemicals) or human invented (intellectual). To be attracted to this advertisement than the actual intended main course meal.

The stories that I tell myself before purchasing a product is far more vivid and intense than the real world experience with it. Be it a materialist item, a relationship with someone, an ideology or any arc that keeps one engaging for a significant period of time. 

evolution made me like this, lol, what a way to find a reason to justify a deplorable situation!

'human consciousness is a tragic misstep in the evolution of humanity' maybe the words from a pessimist philosopher. But one needn't have to be in such sadness beyond a point, lamenting about the ephemeral nature of everything and rather treat everything as an adventure. My often used analogy of 'a ride in the theme park' comes to my mind.

One more analogy is like that playboy who 'enjoys' each woman experience till the novelty of the body lasts and jumps to chasing the other. I am the same with respect to materialist or ideological pursuits, maybe.  

What actually remains after the telephoto lens of a Zeiss optimized phone or a woman is thoroughly decoded for what she is? It all settles into a hum of the motor spinning at it's peak torque RPM (vs turbo whistling fun zones) and the mundanity of the sincere 3 phase motor doing constant duty takes over.

One can always invent a good meaning for this workhorse mode; we humans are excellent in that. To convince a child made as the most beautiful experience a human can do on earth and to allocate all tangible and intangible resources in raising it (no, not making fun of it).

The understanding of it is what took the steam out of it. If I had a romantic partner where I wasn't left to ruminate all these things but to engage in the present thoroughly, I wouldn't have to reach this philosopher phase. Or maybe it is my own nature right from the beginning to critically analyze everything. The outcome is the same.

I can write a sad story about how analysis strips romanticism out of every pursuit in sight. Or I can understand the short lived nature of everything, including human life on earth and adjust the expectations and set a chart for the future accordingly. Always a choice!

Now to set sail to the ports that I have always dreamed: the intellectual. Enjoying good books, traveling the minds of those who articulated fine thoughts and decoding patterns that repeat across various streams of exploration. 

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